Help.

continued (texting)... He's always the one to text me - I'm never the one to text him first. I don't want to piss off my friend, or my boyfriend for that matter. He's a cool guy and I like to chat with him from time to time, just as friends, but I'm starting to feel a bit uncomfortable about it. I know he cares a lot about my friend and that he wouldn't cheat on her but still. I don't want to be rude but it's starting to make me feel weird. What should I do?

Tue, 31 Jan 2012 19:35:22 -0500

part 2,

and here is my answer,

I am sorry if this is a little late but I haven’t been getting as much traffic on here as I used to, none the less, I will do my best and give you my opinion. The easiest thing to do, is don’t keep it a secret. If he texts you and you are with your boyfriend, just tell your boyfriend he is texting you. If he texts you while you are with his girlfriend, tell her he is texting you. The worst thing to do in this kind of situation would be to act like it is a secret or as if you were hiding it. Also, if it is really starting to get to the point where it is getting uncomfortable, tell him. Just say things like ‘you are a good friend’ or ‘I like us as just friends’ or even just tell him straight forward that you are slowly getting uncomfortable. The only way you can resolve this, as well as most problems in life, is communication. It isn’t being rude, it is being honest. I really hope this helps!

Okay, so, I'm not sure where to start but I guess I'll just jump right into it. Recently, my friend's boyfriend started texting me again. We used to text from time to time around this time last year (before he and my friend were dating) but always just as friends because I have been with my boyfriend the whole time. He started dating my friend in the summer and we talked a bit in the summer, but not much. I feel weird that he's texting me. Is it weird that he texts me a lot now? I'll continue...

Tue, 31 Jan 2012 19:28:34 -0500

part 1

Sorry!

Tue, 06 Dec 2011 11:28:01 -0500

I haven’t been on in a while but I want to let people know that if they still have questions and need help with anything at all, they can still feel free to ask!

Hey, so i've messed up an un-countable amount of times with my love-life. And i never ever mean to.. Everytime i mess up and my girl says she doesn't know how she feels anymore, i burst into tears. And i tell myself i'll change, a couple of times. And i haven't changed.. help me. I need to change or i'm going to lose her. She's my everything and i feel so unconfident about myself because i hurt her sometimes. I tried to move on once, but i couldn't live without her. I don't want to, it's hard.

Mon, 07 Nov 2011 13:50:08 -0500

im sorry for the late response also! ill do my best to answer your question none the less though. i understand your situation, infact ive been in it. its hard, believe me, and there really is no cure, or that it takes both of you to work at it. you dont need to change, trust me, there just may be things you are supposed to do you arent doing, for one, is feeling more confident in yourself. i know its hard to do that, but its way easier to have confidence in someone else rather than yourself. how are you supposed to be in a relationship if you dont feel you are good enough to be? ill tell you, you are good enough, you just have to see it yourself. if you love her and she loves you, thats the motivation you need to be able you solve your problems together. talk about what needs to be worked on together, and figure it out together, whether it be spend more time together, or just being more affectionate. i really hope things work out and i hope this helps!

My best friend is having a hard time because we are in a group of friends which is 12 of us and we are really close, but there was this fight and everyone is drifting apart I want to make her feel better but Im not an advice guru and sometimes I just don't know what to say anymore, she's my closest friend and I just don't know what more to say, I say what I can say but sometimes Im just stuck )):

Mon, 07 Nov 2011 13:44:22 -0500

im sorry if this is a late response! i havent been on here lately but i hope this answer helps! sometimes it may be best to just hang out just the two of you, you dont always have to be with that group of friends, this is probably the first answer where i will say talking about it isnt even all that necessary! :P so long as you are there for them as the closest friend you are, thats all you need, or you could even hang out with the friends you do get along with together! some of my friends dont exactly like each other so i usually see my friends one at a time and there is no problem with it. I hope this helps!

Hiii, Me and my boyfriend have been going out for a year and recently, his friends started being annoying. On facebook they'll constantly write "Get it in." to him or "Get some." and frankly it's just been pissing me off. We don't show PDA on facebook. They'll just write it on comments on statuses and what not. I've been feeling really insecure. I've started thinking about how imperfect I am and maybe that they're making fun of me and I've started hurting myself because of it. He's said to stop.

Thu, 18 Aug 2011 14:34:58 -0400

Wow well that is pretty mean, but I will tell you honestly, boys will be boys, most of them are pretty inconsiderate assholes to each other, so they aren’t saying these things to you, they are saying them to your boyfriend, so don’t take them to heart at all. I am positive you are attractive and that your boyfriend is attracted to you so please don’t hurt yourself over this, they aren’t worth it. There isn’t a single thing wrong with you, just some guys being douche bags. The only thing I can suggest if you want to sort it out, is you talk to his friends yourself. I hope this helps and I hope it gets better!

Hey Mike. I need to ask you some advice, even though it's probably stupid and not important. I just, I don't know. You see, my boyfriend goes off to camp for the last week of the summer every year. I know he loves it and he loves the people there and he looks forward to going every year. And this is the part where it gets stupid. His mom just sent me a message on Facebook with his camp mailing address. I don't know if this sounds bad or not but to be perfectly honest, the thought of writing him a letter while he was away hadn't occurred to me. It just never popped into my mind that "Hey, when you go off to camp, you can usually send people letters!". I remember going to camp and I always sent a letter home. My mom sometimes sent letters to me too but I never even realized that I would be able to send him a letter. And even if I had, I would not have expected his mother to forward me the information to get in touch with him. So my problem is that I don't know whether I should send him a letter or not. For a while I thought "Oh yeah, that might be cute. Just to let him know that I'm thinking about him and I'm missing him while he's away." But then I started thinking more and I started to think that maybe I shouldn't. I don't want to intrude on his camp thing. It's important to him and I don't want to step in where I'm not wanted. And like, if he wanted me to send him a letter, wouldn't he have given me the mailing information? Or asked me to send him a letter? What if, like, I was to send him a letter and then all of his friends and the people there were to think it was stupid that his girlfriend is sending him a letter while he's away at camp for a week. I don't know how the mail thing works there, like, if it's a big ordeal when somebody gets mail or if it's nothing crazy and he just gets his mail and it's no big deal. I don't want to, like, embarrass him or anything. I guess if I'm doubting whether or not he would want me to send him a letter while he's away would be a good indication that I probably shouldn't send him one. But what if he does want me to? I would feel horrible that I didn't send one if he wanted me to send one. I suppose I could just ask him but I don't know. A letter seems like it maybe ought to be more spontaneous then me asking him one day, "Hey, do you want me to send you a letter while you're away at camp?". I just don't know. I need to think about it more before I make a decision but if I'm sending him a letter, I need to send it before the end of the week otherwise he won't get it and it will be returned to me. If you don't get to this before then, no worries. I'm just asking advice on this because, well, I don't know what to do and frankly, I don't have anybody else who would take me even a little bit seriously that I can talk to right now.

So anyway, I'm sorry for the stupid question. I'm kind of embarrassed that I'm even asking it but whatever. Here it goes. Thanks Mike :)

Wed, 17 Aug 2011 17:47:16 -0400

So to be totally honest with you, stop thinking. Completely. Just don’t think for a bit, try to hold your breathe every time you say “I think”. You are wasting waaay too much time and thought process over this. This should not be a big of a stress on you as you are making it out to be. Take a big step back and look at the picture. What are you doing? all you are doing is simply writing a letter. Nothing more nothing less, just a letter with some thoughts on it. My answer? write the letter and please, stop thinking about it. Also, for that large paragraph your grammar and spelling and punctuation are amazing except for how many time you used “like”, maybe when writing to him cut down on the use of that word too :P. And don’t be embarrassed about asking this question, it certainly was very interesting for me to read and answer. So I hope you write the letter, and I am sure he will be happy to receive it. I hope this helps!

Hey Mike I need some advice! I have been hanging out with this guy who keeps telling me he wants to have sex with me. I am a virgin (mainly because I am extremely self conscious) I don't really want to lose my virginity to just anyone but I am thinking about him and it all the time now and the fact that I'm 24 and just want to get it over with. Just wondering if you think this is a good or bad idea. I feel like its a Wedding Crashers moment. If he finds out I'm a virgin he might think I'm going to be all clingy after. Just looking for some input on the situation. Thank you !!

Tue, 12 Jul 2011 03:10:22 -0400

Okay, so in my opinion, it is entirely up to you. No one has the right to make you have sex with them, it is 100% your choice here. I may be younger than you, but I had sex with someone because I knew it meant something, because the girl I had sex with means something to me. Just ask yourself if you are doing it for the right reasons is what I am trying to say. If he is a truly understanding person, he won’t care whether or not you are a virgin. If he think anything negative comes from being a virgin, he isn’t worth a second of your time. You just really really need to ask yourself, how much does he mean to you, and do you really “just want to get it over with”? Sex can be a beautiful thing shared with someone close to you, so my best advice, is make him wait for it, tell him you are a virgin and you want to wait until the time is right with him. That’s the best way to know if his intentions are good ones. And as I was saying before, if he doesn’t wait around, he wasn’t worth your time. I hope this helps and I hope you think about this!

thank you it did help. and we talked things out like the day after we broke up but like he just seemed really unsure of the break up but at the same time unsure of getting back together. I dont think he wants to get back together cauz my friend told me he didnt like anyone anymore but i feel like he's lying about it. He's really confusing but he acts like he cares because he says he still wants to talk and text. And he always asks me if im okay, when im not acting normal. also like when he broke up with me he was crying. does that mean anything?

Sun, 03 Jul 2011 16:29:00 -0400

Well, it does, but then it also doesn’t, he could be sad because he is breaking up with you, he could on the other hand be sad because he is hurting someone. This boy does seem really confusing, but it is up to how strongly you feel for him for how you take the next step. In my opinion, he isn’t worth your trouble for making you go through this, but I can be wrong too. If you do think he is worth your trouble, stick by him until he comes to you with a straight answer. Now what ifs, no ifs ands or buts, just he wants to get back together, or he doesn’t, and move on from there. I hope this helps!

hi. So my boyfriend and I broke up like couple weeks ago. we were going out for a little over 7 months. When he broke up with me he said he still loved me but he thought we should be just friends. He said that he was breaking up with me because he didnt want me to be sad or to cry because of him. And he didnt want to hurt me anymore. And if we were just friends he could help me but not hurt me anymore. I asked couple friends about this cauz i was really confused and some said it was complete bullshit and others said he really meant it. I dont know what to think of it.

Sun, 03 Jul 2011 03:34:31 -0400

Well, I will not only tell you what I think, but I will tell you what I think you should do. You know him better than I do, so if you think he is just doing this to end your relationship because it isn’t working for him, please move on, he isn’t worth it if he is like that. But, if you think he cares about you greatly, and he was sincere about what he said, then you need to tell him this. Tell him a relationship between two people isn’t all rainbows and happiness all the time. The are lots of fights, sometimes we say the wrong things and hurt the ones we love, but that doesn’t mean we love them any less. A relationship is about working hard through anything to make it work. If you get sad or if you cry, so be it. It makes the times when you are happy, and laughing all the more worth while. So my answer for you is, relationships should not end for those reasons. People are together because they are there for each other through the good times and bad, even if one another is the cause of those bad times. If he still doesn’t want a relationship after that, move on, because by then he isn’t worth it and you did everything you could. I really hope this helps and I really hope things get sorted out!

hi mike!! so i wanted to ask you something. i'm a bit obsessed by sex but i'm a virgin. i want to have sex but i don't have a boyfriend and want to be virgin till i'll get married. does this make sense?

Sat, 02 Jul 2011 04:21:21 -0400

Of course it does. Just because you want to wait, doesn’t mean you can’t fantasize about it. There is nothing wrong with you other than you are human and have sexual desires. I hope you do one day find a boyfriend who can appreciate that and marry you and give you what you do desire. So don’t worry, there isn’t a thing wrong with you :P. I hope this helps!

hey mike. ok, so i just read your girlfriend's blog that we should check out your blog because your really good at advising. so i started reading out some of the questions and i was likke "oh my gosh!!, this guy is awesome". so yeah, you get the picture. you and your girlfriend are to blessed to be with each other. so keep it up make others feel that they are not alone and whenever they need someone to talk to they know who to call!! MIKEMAN! :)))

Sat, 02 Jul 2011 04:18:33 -0400

MikeMan? :P well I really do appreciate the compliment! I am glad to see some people think what this blog is here for is a good idea, so thank you :). Just know that if you or anyone you know needs help or someone to talk to, as you said, you know who to call ;)

I am 16 and I still believe on waiting to get married to have sex. Will I ever find a guy that believes in the same thing?

Sat, 02 Jul 2011 04:16:25 -0400

First of all, I will tell you that is not a bad thing no matter what anyone tells you, and it is a very hard thing to do. As for my answer, if you are younger than 22ish, you most likely will not find a guy to date you as mean as that sounds. I am sorry if this sounds harsh but guys from that age are generally just really horny and looking for one thing. Now this isn’t fair to say all guys are like that, but most of them, yes. You could find someone then, but it is very unlikely. If you are looking for someone older than that, then as you get older, the chances of finding someone like that starts getting better and better. So, my answer is yes, maybe not now, but you will find a man who does believe in the same thing as you do. Be strong and keep moving on, I really hope this helps, and I wish you happiness one day!

i've been with my bf for almost a year and a half ... but i have feelings for my 'bestfriend' , who is a guy. I'm so inlove with my bestfriend and have fallen out of love with my bf. How can i break up with my bf wihout hurting him ? And you should know that my bestfriend and my bf are really close too ... :/

Sat, 02 Jul 2011 04:10:36 -0400

Ouch… as often as this situation happens, it never ends well. You have to know, it is 100% impossible to end any relationship with someone without hurting them, and technically, you are ending two. If you broke up with him, he’d lose his girlfriend and his best friend, he won’t be in a good place after that. Don’t do anything rash, sit and think about your feelings, think about why you even started dating the guy you are dating now, what you felt for him, and what you feel for him now. Think about if your best friend, or this other guy, even likes you back. If he didn’t and you broke up with one of them to gain the other neither of them will like you anymore. And if you still come to the conclusion that you want to end the relationship you are in for this other guy, be as honest as possible. Tell him why, tell him it is because you fell for the other guy. I think if anyone ever gets hurt, they at least deserve a reason why. I really hope you are able to sort out your feelings and I hope this helps!

Hi I noticed that you were around 18 19 years old so you can probably relate to what I am about to say. I'm 16 years old and I have just gotten my first job. I despise it. It is terrible but I am probably exaggerating because I have only worked there for 3 days. Everyone there has worked there for a long time so I feel like an idiot when I ask a million questions at a time. It seems as if I should already know what I am doing but I don't at all. I mess up all the time and they are probably really frustrated with me. I know I will probably get used to it but idk when. I really just hate it and I want another job. Is it pointless to look for another job or should I stick with the one I have with hopes it will get better?

Sat, 02 Jul 2011 04:04:07 -0400

Haha, yes, I remember when I had my first job. You will get it, but you will hate it. No never like your first job, you aren’t supposed to like crappy part time jobs anyway. 3 months, is how long it should take you to get everything you need to know down pat. 3 days? What are you a super hero? No one gets things that fast, and shouldn’t be expected to. You are new, and if they get upset with you asking questions it is them in the wrong, even if you ask the same question ten times, you are the noob and you’ve got those three months to pace yourself. You are no idiot. Congrats on the new job though! I hated everyone at my first job, they even moved me to the crappiest part of the store, but i still stuck with it for a year. The longer you stick it out, the better it looks on a resume. So my answer is stick with this job, and I KNOW you’ll get better. I hope this helps!

Dear Mike,
My parents, sister and cousin always tell me that they don't like my boyfriend because he's a bit overweight. I think he's perfect but they keep telling me how I could do better...I think he's perfect. He's so sweet to me and he brings me flowers and I just love him. He's working at it though and he's lost a couple pounds...he plays football. What should I do about the put-downs though?

Sat, 02 Jul 2011 00:43:00 -0400

Tell your parents that you believe what is on the inside is what counts, and your boyfriend truly has the qualities you look for in a person. You need to let your parents know that it isn’t up to them who you have feelings for, no matter the person, because in the end it is only you and him that matters. If you love him the way he is, he shouldn’t have to change for anyone else. Don’t let other people tell you who you can and can’t love. Ask your parents if they would still love you if you were over weight, ask them what is so wrong with a person’s soul and personality just because they look different. The answer is simple, they are still human, and you can fall for who ever you want to. I really hope this helps and I hope your family comes around!

Hi Mikee.
I have a question.
I think having sex is absolutely disgusting.
I never ever want to have it. I think it's so gross. Is that weird? Is something wrong with me?

Sat, 02 Jul 2011 00:39:05 -0400

Well, there could be two things,

1, you may be too young or too immature to understand sex fully as of yet. Sex doesn’t have to be all about some guy just sticking his dick in some girl and them getting all sweaty, too some people it is much more important and very romantic. To them, it is a moment of intimacy with a partner, it isn’t just having sex, it is making love.

2, you could just not have found the person you want to share that moment with, and otherwise, just don’t want to ever have anything to do with sex.

Personally, I suggest you don’t shut it out completely and say you will never have it, but rather, think of yourself as saving it for the one you know you want to share something close and intimate with. So to answer your question, no, there isn’t anything wrong with you. I hope this helps!

Is it weird that I don't want to grind with my boyfriend? I think that's disgusting...I like dancing classy.

Sat, 02 Jul 2011 00:33:52 -0400

It isn’t weird at all. I personally think it is a great thing that you like dancing classy. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. Tell him you don’t like it and it isn’t something you want to do, if he doesn’t understand, you are too good for him. I hope this helps!

I really enjoy your blog ! It's helped me soo much to get a male perspective on things ! My boyfriend is totallyyy unspeakable when he's upset so it really helps that you answer allllll types of questions ! How long have you been going out with your girlfriend? :)

Wed, 15 Jun 2011 02:45:38 -0400

Aha thanks for the compliment! :) and my girlfriend and I have been dating for about 8 and a half months now :D

So a couple months ago my boyfriend said that he masterbates about me? Should I be freaked out?

Wed, 15 Jun 2011 02:44:42 -0400

Why? He is trying to give you a compliment. I agree though, that is a very poor way to go about saying that someone is attractive, but that is really all he is trying to say here. You have no reason to be freaked out, although your boyfriend could learn to be a bit more proper around ladies :P, I hope this helps!